Vegas Baby..Vegas!!

Oh welcome back you wonderful cyberworld, you! It has been quite some time since I have last blessed you with my mental presence hasn't it? For shame. I do apologize, but I have just had so much going on that I had to replace my blog with other things. Like sex. Not to worry. Many updates are to come in this blog, so sit back, crack open a beer, kick your feet up and spend some time with me!

For starters! I started school. Yada yada yada..blah blah blah. I get it. But this is my "future" we're talking about.. isn't it? Isn't this supposed to determine what I'll be doing with the rest of my life? Parents say yes. Obama says yes. Even some of my peers say yes. Me? I say NO! I know too many people with college degrees who are still making an hourly wage. Man, they got it made in the shade now don't they?! Get outta here! I have dreams and aspirations that cannot be determined by a GPA I received in an underpriced, overpopulated college. Stop feeding this nonsense that college is a MUST to be successful in life. What kind of message are you sending to the young adults that honestly can't afford to go to school? Are you saying they simply have no shot to do anything with their lives? That they can't successfully run a business without getting a degree in some random business course? Please. That's a joke. And that is also the end to my rant about school.

For second strings! My comedy thing is doing ok I guess. I still haven't actually gotten up on stage (due to miscommunication) and performed a set yet. I have written so much material though. All my friends think the majority of my stuff in laugh worthy. I have high hopes. Comedy is something I've sort of secretly had a passion for all my life and I didn't even really know it. I've always enjoyed making a mockery of myself to the delight of others. Sure, you're laughing at me, but I'm still the reason why you're laughing. Laughter makes the world a better place. Wanna hear a joke? For you sports fans.. T.O. drops more balls than 12 year old boys. Boom. Love it! I plan on getting on stage soon though and I will have it recorded both in audio and video. I'll most likely post it on my other blog dedicated to my comedy alone, but I'll provide a link.

For those who barely made the roster! So, I just took, and got back from, a trip to Vegas. Had a freakin blast. Met the girl of my dreams. This girl is so perfect (she is a dance I might add) that my friend, who is in a somewhat serious relationship, recorded a video of her dancing and set it as his phones screen saver. Ha. I got a laugh out of that one. Man she was gorgeous and I don't throw the "g" word around very often. While in Vegas, we all went out to Dick's Restaurant. For those who don't know, Dick's is a restaurant where the servers and employees are complete assholes to you. Its all in fun, so don't take it personally if you ever go! Anywho. Our server was a character! Right off the bat he was shooting insult after insult. Nay! I shall not be out done! I am too quick off the cuff for that! We battled. He questioned my manhood for ordering a salad. "Get my damn food! I swear I've seen better servers in childrens tennis!" Right off the top. I swear. I believe I gained his respect, since he was pretty chill with us afterwards. He was actually cool to the point where he was able to hook us up and put us on the VIP guestlist at LAX, which is a pretty hot club at the Luxor. Yeah, that's how I roll son! Unfortunately, I spent all my money on the blackjack dealers' tuition and child support so I could only afford a few of the TEN DOLLAR WELLS DRINKS over at this magnificent club. All in all I had a blast. I saw Chris Angel pretend to do magic. What a phony. I figured out each and every one of his tricks. You're not so awesome without camera magic are you, Chris? Oh well.. It was only $20. Holler! Walked the strip several times. Two girls approached my friend and I and asked us if we wanted to party. Now, I don't know about Vegas, but where I'm from when two girls ask if you want party you say yes because you think they actually want to party. These girls? Ha..ha..ha! No. "$100 to watch us shower together. Another $100 if you want to join in." Bitch is you crazy?! Just cuz I'm wearing a $200 outfit (that was primarily purchased at Marshall's) and smoking a big-o-fat stogie does NOT mean I want to pay for sex. I was looking pretty money that night though. So, yeah. Like I said.. all in all a good time. Can't wait to go back!

So, I've done what I could to catch you up on the Life of Coy. Tune back to see what other crazy adventures I find myself in!